Are We Happy?
by Malconvoker
Summary: The murder of passion has happened but what if there was a small spark of hope remaining? Enough to become regret and new love? Eridan/Kanaya. Originally published 1-23-2011


Kanaya watched unblinkingly, clutching the matriorb to her chest and gaped at what she saw. Eridan stood hardly than ten feet away from her, his wand still pointed at where Feferi had been standing before she fell. He lowered his wand and walked to the horn pile and looked over her dead body. The girl he had loved for so long and had kept loving after all that had happened was dead at his hand and Kanaya could hardly wrap her head around the idea. But she quickly learned why.

"You ungrateful BITCH!" The Prince yelled at Feferi's corpse "After everything I did for you, not only to you dump me, you dump me for HIM!" He pointed at Sollux's unconscious form as if Feferi could see him "Who was your friend your whole life? ME! Who kept your Lusus fed and quite? ME! WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU EVERY DAY? WHO PUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID FISH PUNS? WHO LOVED YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW? ME!" Eridan screamed at her corpse, purple tinged tears running down his cheeks as he lowered his wand at his former love.

"NO! STOP!" Before she had even processed all of what she heard, Kanaya shouted to the Prince. The matriorb tumbled from her grasp as she took a step forward, shaking.

Eridan spun to face her, his face livid. "You too, Kan?" he muttered as he prepared to attack her as well. But before he could even raise his wand to strike, Kanaya ran at him, throwing her arms around him in a hug, catching both of them by surprise.

"I'm sorry!" she said, jade tears silently streaming from her eyes. She made sure to meet his eyes, to make him understand. "I should have been able to stop this. This didn't need to happen. I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

Eridan stood in her embrace, shocked beyond words. He had been expecting angry accusations and enraged attacks, not apologies and an all-too-needed hug. He looked into the tearful eyes of the girl who had been such a good and needed friend for so long and he felt something inside him shatter. His knees felt weak and he began shaking, feeling new tears welling up inside him. His knees gave out and he fell to the floor, taking Kanaya with him, but she didn't seem to care, she continued to hold him, her face buried in his sholder. Dropping his wand, Eridan returned the embrace. He needed this, why did he need a shitty wand for?

Kanaya spoke once again, her voice soft and muffled "I was trying so hard, I should have been able to stop this. On top of Vriska and Tavros and all the other things we were doing and running for our lives, I still should have been here for you." She let out a soft sob and muttered "I'm sorry" over and over again.

Eridan couldn't stand to hear her pain, but all he could do was return her apologies with his own. He dared to glance at the body of Feferi, but every time he did the shattered piece of himself stung and he felt like it had broken again.

"I wanted you to be happy." The change in Kanaya's mantra drew Eridan's focus back to her. "I felt like I had to stop this, I didn't want to loose any of you. I wanted you all to be happy and I should have been able to make you happy. I-" her voice broke on a sob "I wanted you to be happy, even if I wasn't." She met his eyes and Eridan could see she meant every word. She would give up her happiness to make him happy.

The shattered part of Eridan seemed to mend itself at her words. He placed a hand on her cheek and rubbed a tear away. Kanaya closed her eyes, her breath hitching with each sob. He couldn't stand to see her so sad.

Eridan took a deep breath and placed his lips on hers. Kanaya's eyes shot open in shock, but she did not pull away and after a moment she returned the kiss in full.

They separated. Kanaya watched Eridan for an explanation. He met her gaze and only said "I want you to be happy too."

He turned to look once more at Feferi. The newly mended part of what he now knew was his heart ached, not from longing, but for shame at what he had done. The tears and sorrow over took him. "I should have wanted her to be happy too" he shook with renewed sobs. Kanaya took him into her arms again, he knew what he had done and felt remorse. She could forgive that.

Karkat stood to the side, watching this all unfold. It had all happened so quickly. What could he have done? Nothing. Some leader he was. He could see Feferi was beyond help, but he could at least help Sollux. Quickly and silently, he ran to his friend. He had to keep the group together, even as they fell apart before his eyes. He was the leader, it was his job and he wasn't going to fail at it anymore.


End file.
